back home

Its funny...i've always contended my hometown(fresno)was a black hole of sorts. The kind of city, if you never try another, that will suck you into this comfortable monotony. I still subscribe to that theory...its just, whenever i'm living somwhere else and i go there to visit, for a brief moment(usually the first couple days), its that routine, that seems almost, inviting. That feeling is quickly followed by the reality of what the city actually is...the smallest big town i've ever known. Don't get me wrong, growing up in fresno was awesome. The cost of living was so low that my middle class family was able to live as most upper middle class families do in other large cities throughout the state. We took vacations constantly. My parents spent tons of money for our entertainment(dance classes, piano lessons,cars,yeah...if ya know me, ya know that last one was quite expensive!!), but there was always my need for a more cosmo city, even at that age. So, on a normal day(not that i have many) i'm quite confident in my decision to escape, i guess i just go back, and see all these people who are so close to me so satisfied with their fresno lifestyle, and i wonder, am i missing something? Am i the odd one for not falling into the "i love fresno" mold? Its strange, but, going home always makes me question my life decision. i become unsure and vulnerable, which usually leads to mass consumption of alcoholic beverages, which usually leads to some emotional breakdown wherein i voice my jaded opinion of my hometown and all its evils to anyone who will listen, which leads to pissing off any number of friends, which leads to me getting on a plane and going home!!! Its a vicious cycle, but seems fitting for a city that prides itself on routine!! So, yeah, i went back to california for a little over a week. It was a much needed break from the city. Its funny, but there really are two different mardi gras' in this city. There's the celebratory mardi gras(thats the one locals and tourists enjoy), and the service industry mardi gras(this one applies to anyone who has to work through this time and deal with the people from the former group). I've been bartending for a while now, and i have to say, drunk people suck!!!! I mean, i dealt with some really fd up people!! And where in this country is it acceptable to...order a beer, be told it costs $3.50, give the bartender $4 and tell them to keep the change!!! KEEP THE CHANGE??? Thanks asshole!!Cuz, it really is change, coins, stuff that goes into a seperate jar, doesnt even count enough to go into the TIP JAR!! And rightly so, cuz, COINS DO NOT COUNT AS A TIP!!! Aaargh!! I guess you could say i was a bit disenchanted!!! But, and im not sure if i wrote anything about this before, but, during the first weekend of parades in the city, i lost my id case that held both my ids, credit cards and some cash!!! Anyway, about two weeks after i lost it, my mom informed me that she'd recieved a letter from the n.o.p.d. After calming her down by insisting it had nothing to do with that new job i hadnt told her much about involving me "housesitting "with a few other women and needing to use the victorias secret card on a much more frequent basis(can you say brothel??) I had her open the letter, it said they had my property. I was totally stoked, someone actually turned in my ids and credit cards!! I thought for sure the cash was lost but, oh well, at least i got everything else. Long story short, i made my way down to the police headquarters, collected my shit, and, wouldnt you know, the cash was still in my mini wallet!! Can you believe it??? I asked who found it, the woman said it was a civilian who turned it in to a policeman out on the parade route!!! WOW, for the first time in my life, i was speechless, i mean, it was unfathomable to me that a n.o. resident not only found and turned in my wallet, but left the 60 bucks in it?? Thats just unheard of. Its strange how life works, here i am recovering from mardi gras, pretty much pissed off at all tourists, and this kind, honest soul comes along and restores my faith!! Thank you SIERRA ALEXANDER, for reminding me that there are still good people out there in this crazy world!!!
So, yeah, i went home...back to that. Stayed in sacramento for a couple days with dad and sis, then my aunt, cousin and i headed to fresno, picked up my mom, and headed to san diego!!! I have to say, thats probably next on my gypsy list of places to end up. There's so much beauty in being near the ocean, i guess im just a california girl at heart. My cousin had a baby boy about 5 months ago, so i fed my maternal itch by spending most of the weekend with him(my mom calls it birth control). I also got to hang with a couple buddies who, oddly enough, are from new orleans. I met them the first time i moved here. They were a couple of my very first friends. They moved out to SD about a year ago. They're two really cool guys, i was really stoked to get to spend some time with them!! One of them is actually moving back next week, the other is moving up to northern cal after the summer. Its strange, i hadnt talked to them in at least a year, then we randomly talk and it turns out thats where they are. Oh my life, hahahah! Anyway, im especially excited about my friend moving back. His hame is dale. Not only is he super hot(did some modeling while out in LA), but he's got a very contagious spirit, and i've kinda been lacking in that dept. Not to mention hes moving out when my social circle seems to be dissolving. Athena just took a job in santa rosa, so she'll be leaving in a mere two weeks. And chris is moving back home to san diego in about 3 weeks. Anyway, im hoping dale and i will spend some time together. So, after san diego i went to fresno for just a couple days. It definitely wasnt enough time!! It never is!! So, now im back, and trying to get back into the groove. Chris and i went to a club opening thurs. night. It was funny they had all male employees. From the front door to the bar, to the dj. All men, it was a first!! And let me tell ya, they could've used a little estrogen up in that byotch, cuz they were struggling!!!! Anyway, im working the next five days in a row, gotta stack up the cash, got visitors comin in about two weeks, i cant believe it, one of my friends is ACTUALLY coming to visit!!!! Yeah that was a blast to all y'all sellin wolf tickets about comin out here!!!!! LATA!!!!

batting for the other team

Ok, so.....tonight, something strange happened at the g.clove(i know, whats makes that differ from any other day??)being my usually bubbly friendly self, i was serving tables, and making the usual "only talking to you to increase my tips" conversations, when a middle aged woman kissed me on the cheek when saying thank you and exiting the restaurant. This was odd for sev eral reasons;
She was not foreign(you know how those euros like the whole kiss on both cheeks thang).Actually she was from wisconsin
She did not appear to be a lesbian, was wearing a wedding ring.
She was not intoxicated. (didnt even consume alcohol while in the restaurant!)
So, after much deliberation my coworkers and i had just decided to chalk it up to this crazy city. It was almost 10 o clock and i had begun closing up the restaurant. My last table was just finishing up, i went outside to begin my closing duties. I was bringing some stuff in from outside and met my table at the door as they were exiting, when...the mid30s female, while saying her goodbye, kissed me on the cheek!!!!! WHat the HELL???? AM I A LESBIAN???HAVE I BEEN PLAYING FOR THE WRONG TEAM THIS WHOLE TIME??? DO I COME OFF AS A LESBIAN TO STRAIGHT WOMAN??? AM I JUST SO IRRESISTIBLE THAT A SIMPLE NON PHYSICAL GOODBYE WOULDNT SUFFICE?? DO I LIVE IN AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE WHERE CHEEK KISSES BETWEEN HETEROS IS PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE?? I need to go to bed now!!!

me, athena, and..rick james...bitch
Posted by Hello

our first night of mardi gras...feels like...forever ago!!
Posted by Hello

this is the city where i live people!!!
Posted by Hello

we barely made it
Posted by Hello

BEE MINE!!!

Well, i can actually say that i made it.....sort of. Mardi gras 05 has come and gone. All thats left are...beads strewn throughout my house....ive come to realize this whole bead catching thing is really a one time deal...i mean ya put in all this effort to catch the damn things(hey, im a fat kid, hooting and hollering and hand waving for hours at a time takes its toll!!), next thing ya know ya got 20lbs. of beads around your neck(like i need to be carrying any extra weight!!)...fast forward to the next day when ya got a wicked stiff neck from said item, plus now ya got a whole floor full of beads, which within the next few days(weeks)will eventually make it to their final resting place...the bead graveyard(more commonly referred to as a closet)at which time those sparkly fantasmites will remain until next years batch is thrown on top.rinse.repeat.its a vicious yet addictive cycle..one i will undoubtedly partake in next year!!! Im also left with what was once my voice and now is that of a 6osomethin chainsmoking woman(audio aid-marge simpsons twin sisters-selma and aww i forget the other one, but ya know what im getting at, i sound like shiiittt!)Guess thats what i get for nonstop work, occasional drinking(what?it was occasional, i swear!!)and new orleans' smoke anywhere you want law(no, thats not really the name of the law!!)We had some really good times this year!! I didnt get to catch any mardi gras shows, which totally sucks....but, i did catch all the cool parades, and on mardi gras day caught a coconut, oh and was on the radio in fresno mardi gras morning!! My friend chris and i got up early mardi gras mornin(the first parade started at 830)most people party straight through monday night into tuesday, but, i thought id try something new and show a little responsibility by actually going home and getting some sleep(i know...its crazy.. mardi gras makes people do crazy things!!)Anyway, he dressed up as rick james(bitch)it was awesome!! I also met this really cool guy from Australia we've been hangin out quite a bit, but par for the course that is janice's life, he's leaving on wednesday. At least i might actually have a valentine this year, not that i need/want one, dont think im gettin all sappy on ya, im just sayin, it'd be the first time since i was like...well, thats a whole nother story people, one i'll fill ya in on tomorrow!!!!Peace out!!!

throw me somethin mister!!!

Well mardi gras season kicked off this past friday night with parades that almost didnt roll because of rain, go figure!! We all celebrated our first parade night.....and our first hangovers the next morning!!! Saturday and sunday were unusually quiet on st. charles ave. Im assuming its the calm before the storm(actually im praying it is!!!). Of course, funny shit always happens round here, this weekend included.....On sunday i worked the day bar shift, it was pretty slow, occasionally i would make my way out to the parade, try to catch some cool beads, plastic cups,etc. anyhoo, i happened to walk out to catch one particular float i found interesting. The float(parades theme was king arthur) had 4 larger than life, paper mache knights, one on each corner of the float. The reason i noticed the float, the first knight that caught my eye seemed to be a bobblehead, i thought how original and creative. Once the float drew closer, i noticed none of the other knights were bobbleheads, and which point i chose my own adventure and invisioned watching the evening news that night and one of the top stories being....a freak float accident where an onlooker is crushed by a monsterous paper mache knights head......film at 11!! Ok, maybe i had one too many bloody marys, but that i thought that shit wouldve been hilarious had i seen it!! Ok, so here comes the irony.....while watching the news yesterday with my friend chris,we heard.....wait for it.....a story of a float collapse in an outerlying city, part of the paper mache on the float fell onto a rider....so how many times have i told y'all i got powers????? Also, on that same newscast, im not making this up people, the 5'o'clock news.....they told a story of a town called mink, louisiana who just yesterday for the first time recieved.....wait for it....phone service, not internet, not cable, but phone, these people JUST GOT PHONES!!!!!!! Yeah, i said it, they said there were 15 households in pretty little mink...OH this podunk state, who new all i had to do was catch a glimpse of the local news to get a good laugh!!!!
In other news the sundays paper included the lineups for jazzfest-april 22-may1. check out http://nojazzfest.com/ all y'all better come out here at some point, cuz there's gonna be some kick ass music!!! and plus, ya know, im here!!! Anyhoo, yesterday was my one day off, parades start up again tonight, well they're supposed to, but its probably gonna rain straight through to tomorrow, so we'll see what they decide. Happy mardi gras!!!