im still here....

so...lets see....last tuesday i posted..this post will consist mostly of my selfish rant....basically im lost....i mean, not in the literal sense...well, maybe....i just dont know what im going to do....or where....or when....ive spent the last week going back and forth between a couple options...im grateful that i even have options...but, its still not easy....i want to wake up tomorrow and have everything go back to the way it was...i almost said back to normal...but, i did live in new orleans,pretty much everything wasnt normal to begin with...i miss my friends...i miss the people i interacted with on a daily basis....i want my life back....this sucks...just when i think ive decided on a place to start over, i think about the big easy...and everything else pales...this may sound extreme...youd have to have been to that city before...i wish that everyone had had a chance to experience the magic that was new orleans...i want to go back. but, i know its not the smart thing to do when the long term is considered....jason will probably go back next week...i dont know if im ready for that yet....i just know that ive got to figure it out, and soon....being in fresno sucks...i appreciate that my friends and my mom are here...but, its literally breaking me...i have no motivation to do anything.....not even....DRINK!!! i know, its crazy i tell you...ive got to get out of here, and fast!!!! im planning to head up to sacramento sat. morning....should be interesting...my sister and i had our most recent "incident", so, we're pretty much not speaking...since i usually stay with my dad when im in sac, i suppose ill be staying at my aunts house....ill be up there for a bit.....last weekend i saw dave chappelle, he crazy!! literally!!no, he was really funny, i needed the comic relief....other than that ive been reading, alot...and crocheting alot of scarves, and sleeping...ive basically turned into a retiree, at 26..awesome!!! so..oh, yeah, i signed up for myspace...that shit is live the video poker machines in new orleans, its like crack....you get hooked, and you cant stop....well, stay up party people!!!