im still here....

so...lets see....last tuesday i posted..this post will consist mostly of my selfish rant....basically im lost....i mean, not in the literal sense...well, maybe....i just dont know what im going to do....or where....or when....ive spent the last week going back and forth between a couple options...im grateful that i even have options...but, its still not easy....i want to wake up tomorrow and have everything go back to the way it was...i almost said back to normal...but, i did live in new orleans,pretty much everything wasnt normal to begin with...i miss my friends...i miss the people i interacted with on a daily basis....i want my life back....this sucks...just when i think ive decided on a place to start over, i think about the big easy...and everything else pales...this may sound extreme...youd have to have been to that city before...i wish that everyone had had a chance to experience the magic that was new orleans...i want to go back. but, i know its not the smart thing to do when the long term is considered....jason will probably go back next week...i dont know if im ready for that yet....i just know that ive got to figure it out, and soon....being in fresno sucks...i appreciate that my friends and my mom are here...but, its literally breaking me...i have no motivation to do anything.....not even....DRINK!!! i know, its crazy i tell you...ive got to get out of here, and fast!!!! im planning to head up to sacramento sat. morning....should be interesting...my sister and i had our most recent "incident", so, we're pretty much not speaking...since i usually stay with my dad when im in sac, i suppose ill be staying at my aunts house....ill be up there for a bit.....last weekend i saw dave chappelle, he crazy!! literally!!no, he was really funny, i needed the comic relief....other than that ive been reading, alot...and crocheting alot of scarves, and sleeping...ive basically turned into a retiree, at 26..awesome!!! so..oh, yeah, i signed up for myspace...that shit is live the video poker machines in new orleans, its like crack....you get hooked, and you cant stop....well, stay up party people!!!

this is jay...hes a kungfu fighter!! sorta
Posted by Picasa

post chappelle show party
Posted by Picasa

this kid was awesome...hes 11
Posted by Picasa

after party in big bear
Posted by Picasa

hot dawgs and hand rails competition in big bear
Posted by Picasa

the grand opening of the bar in saras house was off the hook!!!
Posted by Picasa

back in the 'no

well, i guess its been another two weeks since ive blogged..ive been a busy little bee...coping with the disruption that was katrina....trying to figure out what i do now.....and just being around family and friends.....i flew in to san diego on the 2nd.....i went out with kate(my host at the lakehouse)the night before in little rock...it was pretty cool...i drank a little too much(some things never change)and had to rush to the airport to catch my flight at 630 am.....i spent a week and a half in diego....chilled with my fam at my cousins house...she's my fave cousin since i was like 2 or 3....she's 35, and married with a 7 year old and a 1 year old...but, shes still cool as hell, and my fave...(my cousins kids had a carnival themed party, there was a bounce house, it was awesome!!)my mom and sister were there for the party(mom stayed for a whole two weeks, sis left on sunday)it was comforting to be around people that knew me....on thursday i went to my friend courts in ocean beach to see the season premiere of the o.c., yeah, im addicted, im not gonna lie...on friday, my cousin and i went out for a much needed day of pampering..(well, i definitely needed it, but she deserved it!!)friday afternoon my friend jason got to town...we had dinner with the fam, then went to visit his friend zig at work...we went to a couple of bars in ocean beach then headed home....on sat. morning we got up early and headed to the asr trade show at the convention center in downtown san diego...it was awesome....there were soo many popular brands there, showing there spring 06 lines....jason wanted to go to get an idea of what he should do when he sets up a booth there...he's just getting a new clothing line started...its called delta 9...check it out!!!im trying to help him get it off the ground in whatever way i can....so, we spent all day saturday at the show...then went to the vip party afterwards in mission beach...it was awesome...mike jones performed...i felt very vip....afterwards, we drove to la mesa to hang with jasons friends...we ended up in some dive spot that had karaoke night...it was hilarious...sunday i spent recovering and at my cousins packing up my stuff...sunday night we hung out with my friends court, seth, and jenny, and crashed out at their place....monday am, we drove to orange county stopping in shops all along the way.....went out in huntington beach, met up with my friend coop, and jasons friends from school...it was pretty cool...i ran into like, 3 different fools from fresno, randomly....on tuesday we drove around huntington stopping at shops...then we met coop for lunch in newport and started drinkin!!! we ended up drinking all day, went to sushi for dinner, and went out to the blue beet in newport and kept on drinkin!!! wednesday am we headed to the garment district in la...i love, love, love this place, unfortunately we didnt spend but a few hours, i couldve taken a couple days....around 3pm we headed toward fresno....we got in around 7pm and i hopped on a train headed to sacramento...to pick up my car....my sis picked me up from the train station(the freakin train was almost 3 hours late!!!). Thursday we hung out, went to lunch with my cousin...then drove to fresno...went out that night...realized i wasnt ready to be out in my town...constantly having to have conversations about what happened....the hardest is the political aspect...ive never been publicly opinionated about politics....but, after all this, ive got alot of issues...still, its hard for me to not say anything when people that are ignorant to the situation and the circumstances surrounding it, feel compelled to share their opinion. its like, "what the hell do you know?"anyway, i ended up calling it a night early and passing out at seasons....friday, i went to christians to get my car, ran some errands, went to jasons, and we were headed to big bear for the weekend. they had a snowboard comp...it took us almost 7 hours to get there(jason and i have a tendency, ok, its more like a disease, to get lost even when we have specific directions....)we checked in to our cabin late friday night...our place rocked, it was a posh log cabin, we got dolled up and headed out to the bars...jason brought his friends chad and radar....they were trashed, it was hilarious, watching them trying to spit game...i probably shouldnt have been laughing at them....but, i couldnt help it...it was too funny...saturday i nursed a gnarly hangover...the boys headed to the competition, i tried to take a nap....headed to the mountain...to find the guys already wasted...great...we had an afterparty to attend at 8pm... i basically mingled amongst the peeps at the party and made some new friends....sunday we made the drive home...got to my moms sunday night....and ive basically been chillin out here in fresno since....done a little detox...starting to make arrangements for a fundraiser to benefit the hurricane relief effort....its probably gonna be in mid october...alright, well, now yall are all caught up!! talk to ya soon!!

Reality Bites

Wow...i just dont even know where to begin..i've tried to write this entry about 4 times..i keep starting and not being able to finish..i guess writing about it means im really having to deal with it..im not even close to finished with it...but, figured i should put up what i have while its still fresh..so, here goes...on august 29th, 2005 my life was forever changed...i have now experienced so many emotions to extremes i never imagined id feel them....i am a hurricane katrina survivor...i feel so lucky that i was willing/able to leave the magical city of new orleans on that sunny sunday morning.....people seemed to be carrying on with their normal daily lives....little did we know, we were leaving a city we wont soon see again...when we left the city, there was an unspoken mentality that we'd all be back very soon, that, as in years past, these evacuations mean nothing, that, "we're only gonna be gone for two days". And so, i accepted this mentality as my own, seeing as how this was my first evacuation, my nievte as far as preparedness was concerned has come back to bite me....i did very little to prepare jasons place....i packed my bag(and yes i only brought one)as though i were taking a weekend trip....as we embarked on what would become our almost 14 hour journey....reality set in....we made it only about 10 miles or so before we encountered stopped traffic.....maybe i should, at this time introduce my fellow evacuees...my friend marcia(we had only just met a few weeks before, and had just started hangin on a regular basis).marcias dog vinny(a 7 month old golden retriever), vinny, it turns out, would prove to be quite the confidant throughout this whole ordeal(i grew up around dogs, but, its been awhile since ive been around one..there were at one point, 7 dogs at the lakehouse, all of which were inside dogs)during those 5 days, i fell in love with vinny, and can completely understand why so many people refused to leave their dogs...we also went with marcia's coworker rebecca(whom i had just met on saturday)the three of us went out saturday night for a hurricane party, we ate dinner at one of my fave spots, parasols(bomb roast beef poboys), then headed to the gclove with all the usual suspects, and finally igors....little did we know, what seemed like a normal saturday in the city, would be the last we'd all spend together for quite some time....anyway, back to the trip... so, as we were stopped in traffic, and listening to the radio updates about the storm....we decided baton rouge(only about 60 miles or so west of new orleans)wasnt far enough away from the storm....rebecca said she had a friend in arkansas who said we could stay with her...so, we drove, and drove, and drove...my stay in arkansas was quite pleasant considering the circumstances...im staying with people i dont even know(although Kate and her husband Brian, and Kate's family were all sooo awesome....i wont ever forget their hospitality and generosity), and watching all these people clinging to their lives(i was pretty much glued to cnn for like, the whole time we were there, it kept me sane, with the exception of the time spent out on beautiful lake hamilton)Kate was awesome...she really did her best to keep us entertained and try to keep our minds off of the storm and its aftermath..(we at arkansas bbq, went to the local mall, even toured one of the old bathhouses in downtown hot springs) on thursday morning, marcia left, headed to her hometown in new jersey...kate, kate's friend jamie and i headed to little rock(thats where my flight was out of, and where rebecca had driven for work)