back home

Its funny...i've always contended my hometown(fresno)was a black hole of sorts. The kind of city, if you never try another, that will suck you into this comfortable monotony. I still subscribe to that theory...its just, whenever i'm living somwhere else and i go there to visit, for a brief moment(usually the first couple days), its that routine, that seems almost, inviting. That feeling is quickly followed by the reality of what the city actually is...the smallest big town i've ever known. Don't get me wrong, growing up in fresno was awesome. The cost of living was so low that my middle class family was able to live as most upper middle class families do in other large cities throughout the state. We took vacations constantly. My parents spent tons of money for our entertainment(dance classes, piano lessons,cars,yeah...if ya know me, ya know that last one was quite expensive!!), but there was always my need for a more cosmo city, even at that age. So, on a normal day(not that i have many) i'm quite confident in my decision to escape, i guess i just go back, and see all these people who are so close to me so satisfied with their fresno lifestyle, and i wonder, am i missing something? Am i the odd one for not falling into the "i love fresno" mold? Its strange, but, going home always makes me question my life decision. i become unsure and vulnerable, which usually leads to mass consumption of alcoholic beverages, which usually leads to some emotional breakdown wherein i voice my jaded opinion of my hometown and all its evils to anyone who will listen, which leads to pissing off any number of friends, which leads to me getting on a plane and going home!!! Its a vicious cycle, but seems fitting for a city that prides itself on routine!! So, yeah, i went back to california for a little over a week. It was a much needed break from the city. Its funny, but there really are two different mardi gras' in this city. There's the celebratory mardi gras(thats the one locals and tourists enjoy), and the service industry mardi gras(this one applies to anyone who has to work through this time and deal with the people from the former group). I've been bartending for a while now, and i have to say, drunk people suck!!!! I mean, i dealt with some really fd up people!! And where in this country is it acceptable to...order a beer, be told it costs $3.50, give the bartender $4 and tell them to keep the change!!! KEEP THE CHANGE??? Thanks asshole!!Cuz, it really is change, coins, stuff that goes into a seperate jar, doesnt even count enough to go into the TIP JAR!! And rightly so, cuz, COINS DO NOT COUNT AS A TIP!!! Aaargh!! I guess you could say i was a bit disenchanted!!! But, and im not sure if i wrote anything about this before, but, during the first weekend of parades in the city, i lost my id case that held both my ids, credit cards and some cash!!! Anyway, about two weeks after i lost it, my mom informed me that she'd recieved a letter from the n.o.p.d. After calming her down by insisting it had nothing to do with that new job i hadnt told her much about involving me "housesitting "with a few other women and needing to use the victorias secret card on a much more frequent basis(can you say brothel??) I had her open the letter, it said they had my property. I was totally stoked, someone actually turned in my ids and credit cards!! I thought for sure the cash was lost but, oh well, at least i got everything else. Long story short, i made my way down to the police headquarters, collected my shit, and, wouldnt you know, the cash was still in my mini wallet!! Can you believe it??? I asked who found it, the woman said it was a civilian who turned it in to a policeman out on the parade route!!! WOW, for the first time in my life, i was speechless, i mean, it was unfathomable to me that a n.o. resident not only found and turned in my wallet, but left the 60 bucks in it?? Thats just unheard of. Its strange how life works, here i am recovering from mardi gras, pretty much pissed off at all tourists, and this kind, honest soul comes along and restores my faith!! Thank you SIERRA ALEXANDER, for reminding me that there are still good people out there in this crazy world!!!
So, yeah, i went home...back to that. Stayed in sacramento for a couple days with dad and sis, then my aunt, cousin and i headed to fresno, picked up my mom, and headed to san diego!!! I have to say, thats probably next on my gypsy list of places to end up. There's so much beauty in being near the ocean, i guess im just a california girl at heart. My cousin had a baby boy about 5 months ago, so i fed my maternal itch by spending most of the weekend with him(my mom calls it birth control). I also got to hang with a couple buddies who, oddly enough, are from new orleans. I met them the first time i moved here. They were a couple of my very first friends. They moved out to SD about a year ago. They're two really cool guys, i was really stoked to get to spend some time with them!! One of them is actually moving back next week, the other is moving up to northern cal after the summer. Its strange, i hadnt talked to them in at least a year, then we randomly talk and it turns out thats where they are. Oh my life, hahahah! Anyway, im especially excited about my friend moving back. His hame is dale. Not only is he super hot(did some modeling while out in LA), but he's got a very contagious spirit, and i've kinda been lacking in that dept. Not to mention hes moving out when my social circle seems to be dissolving. Athena just took a job in santa rosa, so she'll be leaving in a mere two weeks. And chris is moving back home to san diego in about 3 weeks. Anyway, im hoping dale and i will spend some time together. So, after san diego i went to fresno for just a couple days. It definitely wasnt enough time!! It never is!! So, now im back, and trying to get back into the groove. Chris and i went to a club opening thurs. night. It was funny they had all male employees. From the front door to the bar, to the dj. All men, it was a first!! And let me tell ya, they could've used a little estrogen up in that byotch, cuz they were struggling!!!! Anyway, im working the next five days in a row, gotta stack up the cash, got visitors comin in about two weeks, i cant believe it, one of my friends is ACTUALLY coming to visit!!!! Yeah that was a blast to all y'all sellin wolf tickets about comin out here!!!!! LATA!!!!