i need a new job

So, i dont know how many of you know why i moved back to cali the first time, so ill fill ya in. Money, dinero, scrilla, cha ching. Basically, the main thing you need to survive, and though i had a job in a busy, fine dining restaurant, and often worked 12-13 hour days(i still choke everytime i see my hourly wage-2 dollars an hour, i feel because of my heritage(mexican) i can say this without getting any flack, farmworkers make more an hour than i do!!), i had no money. The main reason i worked where i did for as long as i did can be easily summed up in one phrase, my fear of commitment. I was having a conversation with (has a gfriend)aaron earlier, when this dawned on me. I was telling him how i have this whole loyalty thing with my employers, ive had it forever. I become attached early on to my work(co-workers, the environment, even the job itself), in turn, when i become unhappy, rather than searching for work somewhere else, i torture myself with feelings of guilt, for i feel im almost obligated to stay. At this point, when talking to aaron, is when i realized, how completely detached from normalcy i really am. I have a gigantic fear of commitment when it comes to relationships, ill do and or say just about anything to keep anyone from getting even remotely close to me. So, this is the F'd up part, its like i transfer all that fear of committing to my place of work, and fully devote myself now matter how shitty(in this case, im yet again making no cashflow) the circumstances. After this epiphany comes the hard part, since im now admitting my fault, if no attempt to remedy the situation is made, them im just plain ignorant, oh yay, gawd happy freakin holidays to me. I get to go home to california, then come back and quit my job, suhweet. On a much more uplifting note, the best movie ever comes out on dvd tuesday, go buy it beeotches!!!!!(if you dont know"gawwwdd, you're such a flippin idiot!!!")